Summer Summer Summer Thyme

There is something about summer that makes me want to enjoy all of my meals outside with an ice cold beer.  Yesterday, my partner took me to Hung Phong Oriental Market which he frequents when buying supplies for the family restaurant.  I was in heaven!  Out of curiosity, I strolled up to the freezers and discovered a large array of vegan goodies!  Shrimp! Fish! Tofu! Chik'n!  So many options.  I grabbed two packages of King Prawns with one goal in mind: Vegan Shrimp Boil.

Crawfish boils were a regular part of my childhood.  When I was in middle school, our next door neighbor was from Louisiana.  All summer long, he'd go on these fishing trips and return with crawfish to boil.  He'd cook up a big pot, and dump it on a table in the backyard where the entire neighborhood lined up to grab a piece.  We ate with our hands and all that spicy boil juice got everywhere.  It's decades later, and I've been vegan or vegetarian for so much of my life that this is the first time I've had a boil in over 20 years.  What a way to usher in summer!

simple. delicious. nostalgia.

Vegan Shrimp Boil
This is easily adaptable when it comes to ingredients.  If you don't wanna search for vegan shrimp, use some steamed tempeh or extra firm tofu.  Hell, even some really sturdy beans or more veggies would work!

3 quarts water

12 oz beer, optional
4 Tbsp coarse sea salt (or to taste)*
3 oz boil-in-a-bag mix (Zatarain's)
2 Tbsp Louisiana style hot sauce

1 tsp cayenne, optional

1 large white onion, quartered
1 full head org. garlic, sliced in half skins on

1 bay leaf

1 lb mini red potatoes (1 inch dice if mini cannot be found)

2 ears of corn, sliced into four

4 vegan sausage links, sauteed and sliced

1 lb vegan shrimp**
1 lb cremini mushrooms
1 large lemon, sliced

Garnishes:

Parsley, minced

Lemon wedges

Pour water, beer, salt, boil-in-a-bag, and hot sauce in an 8 quart pot.  Add onion, garlic, and bay leaf.  Bring to a rolling boil. Add potatoes, and boil for 5 minutes.  Add the corn and sliced sausage links into the pot.  Boil another 5-7 minutes.  Afterwards, double check to make sure the potatoes are tender before adding the final ingredients.  Add lemon, shrimp, and mushrooms.  Boil another 3-4 minutes, until mushrooms are cooked.  Let cool while you prep your table.

Drain well.  Serve up on a table covered in newspaper or parchment with lemon and fresh parsley.  Enjoy with an ice cold beverage of your choice!

Photo Credit: Nooch Vegan Market

* I used half Himalayan and half sea salt.  It's a lot of salt but it doesn't stay on the boil for long.

** Vegan shrimp is pretty easily accessible these days.  Whole Foods stores around the country regularly sell Sophie's or Vegetarian Plus.  I used the Vegan King Prawn featured above.

VeganMoFo IX: Chunk and All That Funk

Yo.  This cookie is spectacular.  This cookie is gonna kick all other cookies in the face.  This cookie is a perfect blend of sweet and savory.  This cookie is my homage to one of my favorite movies of all time: The Goonies!  Let's just skip to the part where I tell you that Chunk is one of my favorite characters and the Truffle Shuffle is absolutely my favorite moment.  Without further adieu...

perfectly chewy.  perfectly adult.

Truffle Shuffle Chocolate Chunk Cookies

(makes 2 dozen)

1 cup non-hydrogenated vegan margarine

¾ cup granulated sugar

¾ cup brown sugar, tightly packed

1 Tbsp arrowroot powder

¼ cup non dairy milk

2 tsp vanilla

2 ¼ cups unbleached all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

½ tsp baking powder

½ tsp salt

1 ½ cups chocolate chunks

3 Tbsp freshly minced rosemary

truffle salt to taste

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees and line a cookie sheet with parchment paper.  In a large mixing bowl, cream the margarine and sugars with a hand mixer.  Add the arrowroot, non dairy milk, and vanilla and mix until smooth.  Sift in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt.  Mix on low until just incorporated.  Fold in the chocolate chunks and fresh rosemary.  Roll dough into a ball using ⅛ cup for measurement.  Place 6 cookies on a sheet and slightly flatten with your hand.  Sprinkle with a small pinch of truffle salt.  Bake for 10-12 minutes, until edges are golden.  Cool on the cookie sheet for five minutes, and then transfer to a cooling rack.

retro or retrNO?

Oh, and since today is technically retro recipe day, I thought I'd show you a crappy photo of what I ate for dinner last night.  In keeping with the retro theme, everything was prepackaged because I'm a working woman with NO TIME.  Haha.  White cheddar Earth Balance mac and cheese, California blend frozen vegetables, Beyond Meat chi'kn cooked in garlic coconut oil and rosemary.  Totally yum.  Totally meat, veg, carb.

This ends another entry!  If you try the cookies, please let me know how they go.  Happy MoFoing!

Nopales Gumbo

Living in Southern California for the past 6 years has made me a huge wimp when it comes to the cold.  I remember when cold fronts were a welcomed change from triple digit summers.  Now, I shiver when it's 60 degrees out.  THE SHAME.

As much as I insist that this weather is cuckoo banana pants, I relish it.  The doggy snuggles, the boyfriend heater, and soup. all. day. son.  I first made this gumbo when I was trying to find a good use for leftover nopales.  The end result was fantastic!  My roommate and I made our way through the giant pot o' gumbo in a couple of days.  It's super easy and will definitely warm up those chilling nights.

Nopales Gumbo

(serves 8)

This cactus gumbo meshes two cuisines for the best of both worlds. Find fresh nopales for cheap in the produce section of your local Latin grocer. If you can’t find nopales, I suppose you could go ahead and use okra.

Notes: I use Tofurky andouille sausages because why not. Also, feel free to go halfsies on the bell pepper. I did half red and half green. If you’re feeling super frisky, mix it up with poblano!

3 Tbsp oil
4 large vegan andouille sausages, homemade or storebought, sliced
¼ cup margarine
½ cup all purpose flour
Medium onion, finely diced
Bell pepper, finely diced
3 stalks celery, finely diced
2 medium tomatoes, seeded and finely diced
1 Tbsp tomato paste
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tsp Mexican oregano
1 tsp cumin
2 Tbsp vegan worcestershire sauce
2 ½ cups fresh nopales
1 ½ cups corn, fresh or fresh frozen
6 cups broth
1 tsp salt, more or less to taste
Pepper to taste
Fresh cilantro or parsley

Cooked white rice
Green onions for garnish

Add the oil in a large stock pot over medium high heat. Stir in the sliced sausages and fry until crisp. Remove sausage from pot and set aside, but do NOT drain the oil. Add margarine and lower the heat to low. Whisk in the flour to make a caramel roux. It should take about 15 minutes to get a golden brown color and toasty aroma.

Add the onion, bell pepper, and celery and cook until tender, about 7 minutes. Add the tomatoes, tomato paste, garlic, Mexican oregano, and cumin. Cook until the tomatoes break down and the mixture starts to resemble a thick gravy, about 5 minutes. Stir in the worcestershire sauce, nopales, corn, broth, salt, and pepper. Raise the heat and bring everything to a boil.

Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes, until the soup is perfectly thickened and has a nice sheen to it. Stir in the fresh cilantro or parsley. Serve over rice and garnish with green onions.

VeganMoFo VIII: Epic Stuffed Mushrooms

Okay okay.  I promise this is my last party post.  I just had to get this recipe up because people were raving about these.  It's kinda a typical recipe.  Normally, I wouldn't use so much processed stuff, but I'll drop some money for parties.  I went with Daiya mozzarella and Trader Joe's cream cheese, but you can do whatever.  You can also substitute the Beyond Beef for well seasoned tempeh.  This recipe is more of a template that can be easily tweaked.

super delicious fungi!

Epic Stuffed Mushrooms
(makes about 30)
soy free option: use soy free cheeses
gluten free option: use gf breadcrumbs

30 cremini mushrooms, stems removed
1 Tbsp oil
2 cups Beyond Beef Feisty Crumbles
1 cup cream cheese
½ cup parsley
½ cup chives
½ cup shredded Daiya (or whatever your jam is)
1 cup panko
2 tsp garlic pepper (recipe follows)

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Spray a cookie sheet with oil, and evenly distribute the mushrooms on it. Heat the 1 Tbsp oil in a large skillet. Cook the crumbles until heated. Meanwhile, add the cream cheese, parsley, chives, mozzarella, panko, and garlic pepper to a mixing bowl. Mix in the cooked crumbles until thoroughly combined.

Transfer mixture to a piping (or freezer bag) and pipe into the mushrooms. Place the mushrooms in the oven for about 20 minutes, or until the filling is nice and golden. Allow to cool for 5 minutes.

Garlic Pepper

(makes ½ cup)

gluten free

soy free

¼ cup granulated garlic

2 Tbsp ground pepper

1 Tbsp granulated onion

1 Tbsp parsley flakes

1 tsp fine sea salt

Pour the ingredients into a small plastic or glass container.  Shake thoroughly.  Store in the pantry.

VeganMoFo VIII: Banana Split Gel Shots

As promised in yesterday's party post, I have a fabulous recipe for jello shots.  These are pretty damn tasty and effective.  I was shocked how fast these went down.  For this recipe, I opted for boxed vegan gelatin which is readily available to me.  If you don't have access to that, stay tuned because I've been working on a recipe that involves agar.  Here we go...

another pic taken by Gina.  must remember to photograph everything before the party.  haha.

Banana Split Gel Shots

(makes about 20)

Marashino cherries w/ stems

3 ounce box vegan cherry jel dessert (like Gefen)

1 cup water

½ cup chocolate whipped flavored vodka

½ cup banana liqueur

vegan whipped cream (store bought or homemade)

sprinkles

Take 20 souffle cups and place one cherry in each one.  In a small saucepan, bring water to a boil.  Add alcohol and let come to a simmer.  Remove from heat into a glass measuring cup, and add the vegan gelatin.  Stir until thoroughly combined.  Pour into the souffle cups and let chill until set.

Right before serving, pipe on a small dollop of whipped cream and add sprinkles.  Enjoy responsibly!

All right y'all.  For the remainder of MoFo, I'm challenging myself to post multiple times a day because I missed last week.  Party on!

VeganMoFo VIII: Upping That Pizza Casserole Game

Dudes.  My very first year of MoFo, I made this pizza casserole that changed my freaking life.  And, of course, I didn't write a single note down.  This was originally meant for redemption Wednesday, but...what evs.  I'm just rolling with it.  This is some good stuff.  Like...seriously.  Check it.

Pizza Casserole

(serves 8-10)

gluten free option: use gluten free pasta and sausage

soy free option: use soy free vegan cheese

1 lb penne pasta, cooked according to package directions

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 large red onion, diced

1 green bell pepper, diced

5 cloves garlic, minced

8 oz cremini or button mushrooms, sliced, reserve ½ cup

½ lb eggplant, peeled and cubed

½ cup sliced black olives, divided

1 tsp salt, more or less to taste

28 oz can crushed tomatoes

14 oz can diced tomatoes, drained and rinsed

2 Tbsp lemon juice

2 tsp sugar

2 tsp Italian seasoning

1 ½ cups shredded vegan mozzarella

½ cup Nutty or Seasoned Parm (recipe below)

½ cup vegan sausage, optional

2 Tbsp fresh minced parsley or basil

crushed red pepper

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees.

In a large pot, heat the olive oil on medium high heat.  Add the onion and bell pepper.  Cook for about 10 minutes until the onion is browned.  Add all of the mushroom (except for ½ cup), eggplant, half of the olives, and salt.  Cook until the eggplant is tender, about 8 minutes.  Add the crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, lemon juice, sugar, and Italian seasoning.  Stir, cover and let simmer for about 5 minutes until heated.

When the sauce is finished, mix it with the cooked pasta and pour into a 9x13 pan.  Cover with mozzarella, Nutty Parm, the remaining mushrooms and olives, and vegan sausage (if using).  Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.  Remove from oven and sprinkle parsley or basil and crushed red pepper on top.

pizza, pizza casserole!

Nutty Parm

(makes about 2 ½ cups)

gluten free

soy free

¾ cup nutritional yeast

½ cup sesame seeds

½ cup cashews

½ cup sunflower seeds

⅓ cup almonds

⅓ cup walnuts

1 ½ tsp fine sea salt

Add everything to a food processor and blend into a powder.  Keeps in the freezer for several months.

Variation

Seasoned Parm: Add 2 tsp garlic pepper or granulated garlic, 2 tsp Italian seasoning, and 1 tsp crushed red before processing everything into a powder.

VeganMoFo VIII: Sloppy Breakfast Sandwich

If you've been reading my blog long enough, then you just know I love nothing more than breakfast.  I don't care the time of day as long as it involves pancakes or scrambles or coconut bacon greatness.  Today is all about the sandwich I used to eat as a kid.  It's basically a fried egg sandwich veganized.  And because I love you, I'm giving you two recipes today.

holler at that sesame seed bagel

White Bean Sausage

(Makes 8 patties)

15 oz can white beans, rinsed and drained

8 oz tempeh, steamed and crumbled

2 tsp rubbed sage

2 tsp fennel seeds

2 tsp brown sugar

1 tsp garlic pepper or granulated garlic

1 tsp liquid smoke

½ tsp red pepper flakes

⅛ tsp nutmeg

1 Tbsp fresh minced parsley

½ tsp salt, more or less to taste

pepper to taste

½ cup vital wheat gluten

olive oil

Combine the beans and tempeh in a mixing bowl and mash until there is a uniform consistency.  Add the spices and adjust the salt and pepper accordingly.  Stir in the vital wheat gluten and knead for about a minute.  Meanwhile, heat a large skillet on medium and add the oil.  Form the sausages into thin patties and fry for about three minutes on each side, until cooked through.

the carnage!

Sloppy Breakfast Sandwich

(Serves 4)

GF Option: Use gluten free English muffins or bagels.  Use gluten free sausage.

Class this baby up a bit by adding sautéed greens and fresh tomato and replacing the jam with chipotle mayo or garlic aioli.

14-16 oz firm tofu, drained

2 Tbsp nutritional yeast

Black salt (kala namak) to taste

Pepper to taste

Olive oil

4 bagels or English muffins

Vegan cheddar, optional

White Bean Sausage or your favorite sausage

4 Tbsp jam

Squeeze the tofu of excess water and cut into 8 slices.  Combine the nutritional yeast and salt in a small bowl.  Sprinkle half of the mixture on one side of the tofu.  Sprinkle on the pepper.  In a large skillet over medium high, heat the olive oil.  Add the tofu seasoned side down and fry for about three minutes.  Sprinkle the unseasoned side of the tofu with the remaining nutritional yeast mixture and pepper to taste.  Flip the tofu and fry for an additional three minutes and remove from heat.

Toast the bagels or muffins.  Melt the cheddar on the bottom half of the sandwich.  Place two pieces of fried tofu and a sausage patty on the sandwich.  Spread jam on the top half of the sandwich and enjoy.

VeganMoFo VIII: Haters Gon' Hate

In case you haven't heard, I'm a mothatrucking hater.  I hate fresh mint.  I hate rum.  So, naturally, I be spittin' haterade all up in the face of mojitos...until now.  Slightly inspired by the refreshing drinks I seek out at my local bars ("desert facial" from Ace Hotel and "eden" from Bar), I opted to replace the grody mint with something fresh and enticing...cilantro!  I just feel that cilantro is a bit brighter than mint.  It works well here.

cilantro makes all the difference

Cilantro Mojito

(serves 1)

gluten free (with gluten free vodka)

soy free

¼ cup loosely packed cilantro

1 small lime, quartered

3 tsp sugar

ice

¼ cup white rum

½ cup club soda

In a medium tumbler, muddle cilantro, half of the lime, and 2 teaspoons sugar together.  Feel free to strain out the cilantro at this point.  Add another lime wedge and the last teaspoon of sugar.  Muddle everything again.  Add ice to the top of the glass.  Mix in the rum and top off with club soda.  Enjoy!

Of course, if you're a cilantro hater, you can just do all of this with mint.  Just...don't tell me.  I will never look at you the same for the betrayal.  The horror.

Vegan MoFo VII: The Thing About Coconut Bacn

...is that all of it never makes it into the recipe.  I will, straight up, eat this ish by the fistful.  It's so easy and delicious!  Alls I do is add soy sauce and a little liquid smoke to some coconut flakes and bake until crispy.

This Mac n' Cheeze Monday is brought to you by way of Tyler Florence.  When I saw his version with peas and bacon, I was intrigued.

peas, coconut bacon, onions, greatness.

Mac n' Cheeze w/ Peas and Coconut Bacn

adapted from this Tyler Florence recipe

serves 3-4 as a main

½ lb rotini, macaroni, or shells
1 ½ Tbsp margarine or oil
1 ½ Tbsp unbleached all-purpose flour
1 ½ cups warm unsweetened coconut milk (canned)
½ cup warm water
2 ¾ cups shredded mozzarella and cheddar Daiya
salt
pepper

1 Tbsp olive oil
½ yellow onion, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
pinch dried thyme
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
½ cup coconut bacn

some of them try to rhyme, but they can't rhyme like this

Cook the rotini according to package instructions until al dente. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Melt the margarine in a large saucepan, and whisk in the flour. Stir with a whisk for about a minute and slowly add the coconut milk and water (or whatever non-dairy milk you like). Cook until smooth, and stir in the cheese. Cook until cheese is melted, and fold in the rotini. Add salt and pepper to taste. Place in a casserole dish and sprinkle the remaining cheese on top. Bake for about 15 minutes, or until bubbly.

Meanwhile, heat the olive oil in a large skillet. Add the onion, garlic, and thyme and cook for about 5 minutes until soft. Stir in the peas and coconut bacn. Add salt and pepper to taste.

To serve, sprinkle the pea mixture on top and snarf like it's nobody's business! Mmm hmmm.

Game Day Texas Chili

So, in my last post I told you about the chili I had made.  Well, we liked it so much that I made it again the next week.  It's super good.  The spice can be tailored to your liking.  Aaand...it makes a ridick amount of food.  Great for having people over or great for freezing half.  Onto the good stuff...

This chili involves two extra things: ancho chile paste and chipotle puree.  However, you can always just add ancho chile powder and chipotle chile powder.  Don't ask me about measurements because I have no idea.  I like using the paste and puree because it adds a greater depth of flavor.

chili dog, son!

Texas Chili

(Serves 8-10)

gluten free

Perfect for Frito pie or chili dogs, this chili is seriously versatile.  Make the chile paste and puree first to streamline the process (unless you plan to just use chile powders).  Adjust the heat by adding or subtracting jalapenos (or leaving the seeds in) and changing the amount of red pepper flakes or cayenne.  As is, this has a nice kick.

2 cups TVP

2 cups boiling water

1 Tbsp canola oil

1 medium onion, diced

2 jalapenos, seeded and minced

3 garlic cloves, minced

2 Tbsp Chipotle Puree (recipe below)

⅓ cup Ancho Chile Paste (recipe below)

2 tsp cumin

1 ½ tsp oregano

1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes

½ tsp cayenne pepper

¼ disk Mexican hot chocolate, grated

1 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tsp salt, or to taste

28 oz can crushed tomatoes

2 cups vegetable broth

In a medium bowl, re-hydrate the TVP in the boiling water. Cover and set aside.

In a large stock pot, heat the canola oil over medium high heat. Saute the onion and jalapenos until softened, about 5 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 1 minute. Add the Chipotle Puree, Ancho Chile Paste, cumin, oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, cayenne, Mexican chocolate, cocoa powder, and salt. Stir for about 2 minutes. Add in the crushed tomatoes, vegetable broth, and TVP. Bring to a boil, cover with a lid, and lower the heat to a simmer. Simmer for 25 minutes.

Serve with sour cream, cheese, red onions, and maybe even some guacamole.

Sweet and Spicy Variation: Up the Mexican hot chocolate to ½ disk.

spinach artichoke dip from last year's super bowl.  recipe coming later...

Chipotle Puree

Gluten free depending on brand

Soy free

1 can chipotles in adobo, any size

Take any sized can chipotles in adobo and blend until smooth.  Easy!  Spoon it into ice trays in 1 Tbsp increments and freeze for longer storage.

Ancho Chile Paste

Soy free

Gluten free

I use this in place of chile powder.  It has waaay more flavor.  Note: do not eat this with a spoon!  It's more comparable to tomato paste, because it's something that is used to flavor and the chile component is pretty concentrated and mildly bitter.

2 oz dried ancho chiles, seeded and stems removed

1 small garlic clove, minced

½ tsp cumin

¼ tsp Mexican oregano, crumbled

¼ tsp fine sea salt

¼ tsp sugar

½ cup vegetable broth

Torch the dried chiles in a pan over medium heat until fragrant, about 1-2 minutes. Watch them carefully so they do not burn. Empty the chiles into a large bowl and cover with boiling water. Let them soak for about 15 minutes.

Drain the chiles and place them in a blender or food processor along with the garlic, cumin, oregano, salt, sugar, and vegetable broth. Blend until completely smooth.

Menudo Remix and Frito Pie

EDIT: I just cut a lot of blogs from my reader, but only if they hadn't posted since 2010.  If you are one of the aforementioned slackers and plan on reviving your blog, just comment and I'll add you again.  Muahahaha.

Howdy all!  This winter break has reached the point of excruciating!  Classes don't start again until the 30th so I have been doing a lot of cooking, focusing on Texas classics lately.  For the new year, I had a hankering for menudo and decided to tackle the dreaded chile paste again.  This time...SUCCESS!  This is the best menudo yet!  I am so stoked.  If you haven't tried menudo yet, you are seriously missing out.  Onto the recipes...

this menudo is from MoFo 2010...same basic recipe, though

Vegan Menudo
(Serves 6)
gluten free
soy free option: Replace TVP with 15 oz can of rinsed and drained pinto beans.

1 cup TVP pieces (not granules) rehydrated in 1 cup of boiling water
1 Tbsp canola oil
1 small white onion, diced
1 large carrot, peeled and diced
2 large cloves garlic, minced
½ Tbsp Mexican oregano, crumbled
1 tsp crushed red pepper flakes, more or less to taste
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp fine sea salt
6 cups beef-flavored or regular vegetable broth
⅓ cup Ancho Chile Paste (recipe below)
15 oz can hominy , drained and rinsed
minced red, white, or green onion
cilantro
lime or lemon wedges

Heat the oil in a large saucepan medium high heat. Add the onion and carrot. Cook until softened, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes.

While the onion and carrot are cooking, get the spice mix ready. Mince the garlic and set aside. Mix the oregano, crushed red pepper flakes, cumin, and salt together.

When the vegetables are softened, add the garlic and spice mix to the pot. Cook for about a minute before adding the broth, chile paste, hominy, and TVP to the pot. Bring to a boil, cover, and lower the heat to a simmer. Simmer for 25 minutes. Garnish with onion, fresh cilantro, and lime or lemon wedges.

Ancho Chile Paste

soy free

gluten free

This can be made with any dried chile you like, though I favor ancho for its deep, bitter flavor and mild spice.  You can store this in a glass jar in the fridge for up to a week.  If storing in the freezer, I suggest doubling the recipe and freezing in 1 Tbsp cubes.

2 oz dried ancho chiles, seeded and stems removed

1 small garlic clove, minced

½ tsp cumin

¼ tsp Mexican oregano, crumbled

¼ tsp fine sea salt

¼ tsp sugar

½ cup vegetable broth

Toast the dried chiles in a pan over medium heat until fragrant, about 1-2 minutes. Watch them carefully so they do not burn. Empty the chiles into a large bowl and cover with boiling water. Let them soak for about 15 minutes.

Drain the chiles and place them in a blender or food processor along with the garlic, cumin, oregano, salt, sugar, and vegetable broth. Blend until completely smooth.

The chile paste is great mixed into soups instead of chile powder!  It's also fantastic in chile or used in sausages instead of tomato paste.

Now I leave you with this picture of Frito pie.  I came up with a most excellent recipe for Texas chili yesterday.  Really good stuff.

frito pie with Isa's cashew queso, onion, and pickled jalapenos

I hope everybody has a Happy MLK Jr Day!!!

Nog Off: Earth Balance vs. So Delicious

EDIT: I just discovered the "chunks" were mold!  I'm dyiiing.  Omigod, I've never been so disgusted in my life.  Not sure why the other "chunks" didn't have mold in them.  Bah!  Gonna contact Earth Balance and the store I got it from.  Gross.

Awww yeah, boyee!  Early Christmas™ has crept its way into the calendar even earlier this year.  I swear, I saw Christmas lights before Halloween was even here.  About the only thing I love about Early Christmas™ is that I get to get drunk off nog for about 5 months straight.  Hallelujah, holla back!

2 will enter.  I will win!

The whole nog off idea kinda started as a joke when Jordan and Mike (of PPK fame) were talking about So Delicious Coconut Milk Nog.  While doing my Thanksvegan shopping, I also stumbled upon Earth Balance Soy Nog.  Now, you know it was on!

earth balance soy nog

First up was the Earth Balance nog.  What I basically did was taste it straight up...then drowned in alcohol.  The nog was creamy and on the medium side of thick.  The consistency was great for drinking straight up, but watered down easily when made alcoholic and served on the rocks.  There was a nice amount of spice, and I'm pretty sure I like this better than Silk Nog (or at least as much).  However, there was one large problem.  There were chunks in it, as in something went horribly wrong with the thickening.  I'm hoping it was just an anomaly because those chunks ruined an otherwise lovely drink.

so delicious coconut nog

The So Delicious nog was super creamy and ultra thick.  Not quite as thick as dairy nog, but the closest vegan version I've tasted.  I'm a fan of thinner nogs for drinking straight up, but this is perfect as a mixer.  Plus, the first thing I noticed were the huge flakes of nutmeg.  This does have a coconut essence, but it works super well with the overall nog.

Nog Off Results

Creaminess: So Delicious

Thickness: So Delicious

Spice: So Delicious

Price: So Delicious was $3.19, and Earth Balance was $3.89

Spiced Caucasian Pwnage: So Delicious

Overall Nog Factor: Tie

Clearly, So Delicious is the winner!  The Earth Balance nog is fantastic, but the chunks are worrisome and it just got slaughtered in a side-by-side tasting.  I'd still buy both, though, depending on my mood.

Now, I'll leave you with my favorite holiday dranky drank.  Enjoy, dudes!

Spiced Caucasian
ice
lowball glass
1 oz coffee liqueur (Kahlua, etc.)
1 oz espresso vodka (Seagram's, Smirnoff, etc.)
vegan nog
nutmeg, optional

Fill the glass with ice. Top with liqueur and vodka. Fill will nog. Stir. Top with nutmeg, if so desired. For a truly caffeinated version, try Mocha Kahlua!

VeganMoFo V: MMMS-Saved

It's here!  My favorite Mandy Moore movie is here!  If you've never seen Saved, stop what you're doing and rent it today!  It's seriously amazing.  Dark comedy.  Religious fanaticism.  Heavenly ordained premarital sex.  I loves it!  Mandy plays a total jerkface named Hillary Faye.  She's this super hypocritical religious person, head of the Christian Jewels.  There's a lot going on in this: teenage pregnancy, Love Won Out type anti-gay camps, and the most effed up underwater Jesus vision ever.

Naturally, I wanted to make food that looks innocent, but is really not.  The only things innocent about this menu are the peas and carrots.

this meal ain't free.  read this pamphlet while you wait.

Collection Plate Special

Berbere Coconut Crusted Tofu

Smashed Potatoes and Beer Gravy

Peas 'n' Carrots

Fish Tank Jello Shot

mmm.  coconut tofu.

There are no recipes here, as I just threw things together.  The tofu had three dipping thingies: cornstarch, berbere, garlic pepper, poultry seasoning, thyme AND milk, whole grain mustard, berbere, hot sauce AND shredded coconut and nooch.  It was pretty damn good.  The potatoes are covered in beer gravy, but I accidentally grabbed a dark beer that I hate.  So...blech.  The peas and carrots are tossed with some dill and parsley.

there's a fish in there!

A character in the movie says that Jesus appeared to her in her fish tank.  You'll be seeing visions, too, if you down this lethal shot.  I really wish the jello shot wasn't so opaque.  Next time, I'm adding the smallest drop of food coloring.  I will definitely tweak this because 1 to 1 ratio of juice to alcohol is way too strong for me.  However, I'll share it because every recipe I saw online used too much damn agar powder.  These came out gel like.

Fish Tank Jello Shot
1 cup pineapple juice
2 Tbsp sugar
¾ tsp agar powder (not flakes)
1 cup flavored vodka or rum (coconut, passion fruit, or mango are great)
blue food coloring
Swedish fish

Combine the pineapple juice, sugar, and agar in a medium saucepan.  Heat over medium until the agar has been activated, no longer than 5 minutes.  You'll know this has happened when the mixture starts boiling and thickens slightly.  Remove from heat, and stir in the alcohol.  Add a couple of drops food coloring.  Fill each cup with a Swedish fish, and pour the mixture over them.  Let cool to room temperature before refrigerating.

Be sure to use right away because the Swedish fish turns to goo after about a day.  Next time, I'm totally just putting the fish on top, maybe with whipped cream!